Monday, April 21, 2008

Oprah- You Hold the Keys to my Heart.


You either love her or you hate her.
Caucasian, middle class women across America worship her.

Supposedly, there's a new store which sells Oprah's old attire. The quote below symbolizes the devotion that suburbia upholds towards their beloved Oprah.

"'The feeling is, Oprah had this on, and now, I'm wearing it?' Ms. Hoy explained over lunch near the store last week. 'When you go in there, you just feel great, like you are somebody, like Oprah is touching you.' Ms. Hoy was so moved by the experience that she bought a $40 cream-colored blouse that she may never wear out of the house, mainly because of the tag, which says: 'Harpo Inc. hereby certifies that the item to which this tag is attached is a genuine garment from the closet of Oprah Winfrey'."

Although I was raised in a house without a mother who scheduled an hour aside every weekday at 4pm in order to relish in the teachings of Oprah, my generation developed a genuine love for her. And I, Hannah Shirley, am no exception.

Laugh at all you want, America. Let's be honest, though...The woman gives brand new cars to her audience members.
I am proud to declare that I am a loyal follower of her renowned book club. If Oprah says it's good, then darn it, it's incredible. It is a reoccuring joke in our apartment that she actually hires others to read the books and brief them for her.
I love her Mississippi heritage. I love that she arose from a bleak childhood. I love what she epitomizes for women everywhere.
Below, I've compiled a brief list of teachings...
1. Empathy- I'll never forget the episode where a mother's first born child died in a car crash. She was driving to a neighbors home 3 blocks away and decided not to place her baby in his car seat.
2. Always place my children in seat belts. Self explanatory.
3. Despite controversy, I am here to clarify that, yes, you can contract STDs from hot tubs. Thank you Dr. Oz.
4. Mental illnesses are real.
5. Organization skills.
6. Tom Cruise is madly, crazy in "love" with Katie Holmes...
7. What not to wear. Fashion, fashion, fashion.
8. Live your best life.


Clay said...

Wow... Oprah, what more can one say? I personally never really watched it. I mean I saw a few here and there, but never watched religiously. I remember that Tom Cruise episode. That was really crazy.

Anonymous said...

Uh,yeah, of course we love Oprah. Not only does she give cars away, she gave an audience member a Quizno's. Hello! And as much as I love Miss Winfrey, I absolutly adore you. Your blog is the bomb- do people still say that? If not, I'm bringing bombdiggidy back. Love you, girl. The house is fabulous. Can't wait to have you home to hug your neck (a favorite grandmaism).- emmie

jennypmartin said...

Hannah-I should have been a better Mother and watched more Oprah. Hey, are you sure about that STD thing? I need research. Love you,

PS You hold the keys to my heart!

Meghan said...

hannah shirley you are just to cute! i love reading your blog and am so excited to keep reading it all summer. you better believe i will be keeping in touch with you so you can give me the low down on Hawaii! Love you!

Anonymous said...

I feel as though your mom could very well have missed out on some crucial things, not being a follower of Ms. O. Also, I'm giving a shoutout to Emmie for "trying" to bring bombdiggity back! Love you! Can't wait to see next week! - Aunt Amanda